


The Stars Above Us

by hannabaume2121



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Communication, F/F, Not sure where it's going, first chapter is a fix it for the end of episode 8, im just so happy they're girlfriends, soft girlfriends leute!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:54:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29764071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannabaume2121/pseuds/hannabaume2121
Summary: Some moments in Fatou and Kieu My's relationship. Diverges from cannon at the end of episode 8 but will run pretty close to all of season 6 and then will go beyond.
Relationships: Fatou Jallow/Kieu My Vu
Comments: 10
Kudos: 78





	1. Let's Talk it Out

Between the thumping music and the alcohol coming off of Ismail and now her own breath, this was not where she wanted to be.

Fatou had come for her girlfriend, to apologize, to see her. Because she missed her. When Kieu My left her in her bedroom on Tuesday, Fatou had just wanted to sleep. Her work, her friends, school, parents, it was all too much. She had wanted to be distracted, but when she woke up, she was overcome with a feeling of guilt. Kieu My had been there for her, had stuffed her bag with papers and math problems for them to do together. Her girlfriend had been there for her-- so why had she pushed that away?

It was the small voice in her head, the one which whispered from behind her with a deafeningly faint hiss, always saying the same thing: you aren’t smart enough, aren’t good enough. You, Fatou Jallow, are not enough.

And really, she hadn’t heard that voice so loudly until she developed feelings for Kieu My, which was when she began to move through the world under an attempt to prove herself. Kieu My couldn’t possibly like a girl who “smoked her brains out.” Fatou could not be made to feel stupid again, not after Friendsgiving.

So she had yelled at Kieu My, said things she never wanted to have seen the light of day. But, she had lost it. 

So the party was her chance, a chance to come and show Kieu My that she could do better and be better. She needed to open up, but most importantly, she needed to listen.

Zoe came back to her with a cold beer in hand.

“I’ve got it, as promised!” she exclaimed, jumping on her toes.

Finn was calm and cool next to her, his eyes fastened on Fatou’s shoes. Did he like them?

Before she could ask him about further thoughts on her fashion choices, she heard yelping from the porch. 

“Q!” Constantin swayed with the music. “Kieu My, come save meeeee,” he sang.

That was when Fatou saw her. Kieu My came from a corner of the deck which had been previously obscured by the dark of night. With dark metallic pants which subtly caught the vibrant lights of the party and her hair pinned above her head so that it perfectly opened her face to the world, she was perfect. Fatou was sure that Kieu My was the only girl who could really rock lime green as her color. Its unique and frankly disquieting tone was shocking, but next to Kieu My, it was dulled, put in its place. 

“Consti,“ Kieu My groaned, gathering his weight onto her shoulder as she held him up, “you need to drink some water, please.”

“Yes, yes,” he responded, “I will.” His words slurred and looped like notes in a jazz song. 

A small part of Fatou admired Kieu My’s care and loyalty to her friend, even though he by no means deserved it.

Kieu My caught sight of Fatou as she spun around, trying to keep pace with Constantin’s rapid and drunken movements. She sat him down in a wood chair on the deck and told him to be still, wagging her finger at him like she would a dog. 

Fatou’s heart caught as she saw her girlfriend was coming towards her. She stood up. 

“Hey,” Kieu My said, her voice weighed down with fatigue. 

“Hey.” Fatou was quiet after that for a moment. “About Tuesday, could we maybe talk about it? Is everything okay between us?”

Kieu My frowned as she looked down at her, her smooth forehead gathering up slightly. Had Fatou said the wrong thing?

“No, well,” Kieu My hesitated. “Can we talk about this a little later?” 

Fatou nodded, feeling dismissed. Kieu My didn’t want her now. 

She turned to leave as Kieu My went back to look after Constantin. Fatou found Kieu My’s bed and slumped down, her legs giving out under her. The bed exhaled with her as it took her weight. Fatou studied her hands, knocking her fingers around to pass the time. She wanted so badly to leave, but that would be giving up. She and Kieu My needed to talk. If Kieu My could scale a roof for her, she could brave a party with five of her classmates. 

That was when Ismail sat down next to her, spilling their bright orange drink slightly. They produced an identical one for Fatou of which she took and had a small sip. The alcohol burned her throat, and she coughed slightly. Ismail did not seem fazed, as the drink went smoothly down into their body. Ismail’s nails were painted carefully and glinted in the party lights as they gripped their drink. 

“How’s it going?” they asked.

Fatou just grunted at that.

“I feel that,” Ismail said. Their eyes kept across the room, to where Kieu My tended to a increasingly sleepy Constantin.

“He needs to get himself together,” Ismail said. 

Fatou listened, eager to be something of an open ear for him, even if she was tired and fantasizing about the quiet of her room, maybe a soft cuddle with Maike. 

“He’s in a bad place,” they continued, “but he needs to take some sort of responsibility.”

Fatou nodded. “I want to be my own Spongebob, not Patrick or plankton, just Ismail, or Spongebob.”

Fatou imagined Ismail under the sea, square and with holes all over their body. Not so great.

“Ismail is good,“ Fatou said. 

They smiled at that, and Fatou collapsed onto the bed, lying down and letting the tension leave her back.

A buzzing sound came from her right. She looked over and saw a bright yellow phone on the bed: Kieu My’s phone. 

The noise nestled into Fatou’s brain, pulling at her curiosity. 

But, she would not look at it. Instead, she sat up and inched closer to Ismail, placing her arm around their shoulders.

“You need to help me with Maike,” she said, her voice stern despite the affection.

“Yeah, I know,” they said, “I’ll figure it out.”

For the first time, Fatou had some confidence in their words.

Ismail left a few minutes later to speak to Finn, leaving Fatou alone on the bed, well, besides her girlfriend’s phone. She stuck her arms to her side and removed her own phone. Maybe the Cashqueens had texted? The chat was silent, and Fatou missed the buzzing which normally came from it when they weren’t together. Thinking about Monday’s events made her stomach churn, and once again, she wanted to go home. Well, no, she wanted to go to Kieu My. She found her, still on the deck outside. Though stressed about Constantin, Kieu My seemed sort of happy. She and Zoe DJed through Zoe’s phone, and every light in the room bounced off of her. Despite all of this, Fatou knew that this was not all of Kieu My. Kieu My was also cheesy astronomy posters and complex physics equations. She cared and was passionate. She was an Ice Queen, but one who melted for those she cared about.

Fatou stopped, her mind going quiet. Kieu My cared about her. She had opened up, if only bit by bit. Making mistakes and apologizing, putting herself on the line for Fatou. She did these things even though they were hard for her, and Fatou had been too preoccupied with her own issues, with friends, school, work, all of it, to really grasp the gravity of that fact.

So, she waited. 10:30 became 11:30, and then midnight. Still, Fatou sat on the bed, leaving the buzzing phone alone, leaving her girlfriend to be with her friends, and played Animal Crossing on her phone. 

By midnight, Finn had gone home, kissing Zoe goodnight. Ismail had begun to clean up the apartment, and Constantin was tucked in on Kieu My’s floor. Zoe and Kieu My still danced slightly to the music, but they were growing tired, their movements becoming less coordinated and more spontaneous. Finally, Ismail woke up Constantin once the apartment was clean and began to walk with him to the door, their arms supporting his large figure. Ismail rolled their eyes at Fatou as they left, and Fatou texted them immediately, knowing that they would see it eventually when they got home: Goodnight Spongebob.

Finally, Zoe checked the apartment once more to make sure it was as clean as when they arrived, and kissed Kieu My softly on the cheek before giving Fatou a small wave and closing the door behind her on her way out of the apartment. 

It was quiet, the bustling air now still and tired too. Kieu My stayed on the deck for one second more, breathing in deeply, before she made her way inside, closed the deck doors, and joined Fatou on the bed. They sat with a few feet between them, like the last Thursday. 

This time, Fatou did not touch Kiey My. Instead, she watched her intently, keeping her eyes on Kieu My’s, telling her she was open, and ready to listen, and when the time came, to open up. 

“Hey,” Kieu My said softly.

“Hey.”


	2. Plastic Glow Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place the morning after ch.1

Fatou slept over that night. When the light filtered in through Kieu My’s thin curtains, she opened her eyes, finding her girlfriend sleeping beside her.

With utter silence in the room besides Kieu My’s breathing which came in smoothly but released with a slight hitch, Fatou was able to focus on Kieu My’s face. She looked for a long time at her black eyelashes, at the small bit of sleep which gathered in the crease of her eye, at her lips which were so still in their sleep that she was worried that a loud breath would disturb them. Most importantly, she looked at her pores. Really, Fatou couldn’t see anything but smooth skin. Sure, there were a few black heads on the sides of her nose, but that was normal. That was normal, because Kieu My is normal. 

Fatou breathed in with this realization, an understanding which had always been there but had been too often eclipsed by the un-parallelled beauty which formed Kieu My’s soul and being. 

This is what they had talked about. Kieu My and Fatou were two young women, two people who fought wars of their own, and, maybe, could be lucky enough to do so while holding the other, assuring the other that their fight was enough. 

Kieu My was deserving of every piece of support, every ounce of struggle. Kieu My was normal, not an extra-terrestrial glowing being come to brighten Fatou’s mundane life on earth. Kieu My was unlike any person Fatou had ever known, but that did not mean that she wasn’t one, and one who needed her just as much as Fatou needed Kieu My. 

She watched Kieu My’s sleeping face, her perfectly normal and beautiful pores, and her steady yet uneven breathing. Fatou would let her sleep, because they both needed to rest.

Two hours later, Fatou woke, her back ticking in response to a foreign sensation. Fingers traced under the t-shirt she had borrowed from Kieu My, one with a cartoon rendition of the Kepler Telescope on it. Fatou honed in on the soft fingers running over her skin. It tickled and soothed her. The fingers stopped in their path, right between her shoulder blades. Then, the whole hand came down, pressing softly on the center of her back. Fatou felt herself growing warm under that hand, but the subtle pressure was enough to make her wish to stay there forever. 

Finally, she turned around and faced Kieu My who was now very much awake. 

“Good morning,” Kieu My said, her voice coming out clearly.

“Good morning,” Fatou groaned. 

They lay there, Kieu My’s hand holding Fatou’s arm gently. The ceiling loomed above them, and Fatou noticed the small stars taped to Kieu My’s ceiling. Somehow, she had failed to notice them in the dark the night before, probably too concerned about how she could have been so blind to what Kieu My needed. But, it wasn’t her fault. She had tried to remind herself of this fact, but too often those words were replaced by others that night: you’re being dumb, being selfish.

Fatou was not selfish. 

“I didn’t realize those stars were on your ceiling,” she whispered.

“They glow in the dark.”

“Do they ever keep you awake?”

“Keep me awake?” Kieu My called, her voice louder and swinging in its tease, “the only thing keeping me awake was you hogging the covers.”

Fatou laughed softly. But when she looked down, she saw that Kieu My’s comforter barely covered her body, leaving plenty of room for fresh winter morning’s air to rush in. Fatou picked up the comforter which hung limply over her side and tossed it back over the bed so it fell evenly between them, or actually with more fabric on Kieu My’s side.

“Sorry,” Fatou said.

“Maybe I like the cold in the night.”

In the future, Fatou would make some joke about how it reflected Kieu My’s heart, sometime when both of them would be comfortable enough to know that it was a lie and a tease. Kieu My wouldn’t have to worry about whether Fatou thought she was cold and unforgiving, cruel and manipulative. Fatou would not have to worry about if Kieu My beleived her, if she would begin to think of herself as frozen inside, and begin to think that her girlfriend could ever believe it. But that time was not now, that would have to wait.

Instead, Fatou rolled over fully so she was on her side, looking at Kieu My’s profile while her girlfriend still watched the plastic stars on the ceiling which were pale in the daylight. Kieu My shifted to look at her too, and then they were there, facing each other, looking at the other, seeing the other. 

“You’re not cold,“ Fatou said. “You’re the warmest person I know.“

Fatou watched Kieu My’s eyes flutter and her face fall into a kind of resignation. Maybe she understood that she was seen. 

She moved on her pillow and picked her head up, leaning into Fatou. Kieu My kissed her softly, letting her instinct take over in a moment when words might fail her. Fatou smiled when she pulled away while Kieu My licked her lips, wanting to keep the taste of Fatou in her system forever. 

“Am I not the hottest?” Kieu My asked.

“That too,” Fatou said, pulling the covers off of Kieu My and wrapping herself up, leaving her girlfriend to grasp at the ends of her own comforter while she laughed.


	3. Phsychologists and Pizza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mittwoch: Bin ich Dumm?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy!

Fatou closed the door of the building shut behind her so she found herself in the brisk air outside. Nora and Mailin sat on a bench across the street, passing a medium-sized serving of fries between them. She saw Nora’s hands hover over the assortment, either deciding which one to take or pondering if she should even take one. She subsided, grabbing a small one in the front of the pack.

Mailin nudged her and took two without hesitating. While she chewed on them, she looked up and saw Fatou on the doorstep of the office. 

Nora and Mailin made their way to Fatou and hugged her, enveloping her until she grew warm under their embrace. Finally, the fries were presented to Fatou amidst apologies about the depleted numbers. Fatou could do nothing but beam as she told them about what the psychologist had said. He had told her that she was not dumb. She was not deficient or incapable. 

“We could have told you that,” said Mailin, laughing casually with a fry between her teeth.

“Yes,” continued Nora, “but it’s so great you got to see someone who knew what they were talking about. It really helps me too.”

Fatou nodded, knowing that Nora was completely genuine in her words. It was helping Nora, and understanding this gave Fatou a glimmer of hope, a feeling she had not had in a while when it came to school, to her brain, and to her own self-worth. 

Fatou would get creative, like she had always been, and with the help of her friends and the psychotherapy, she would get her Abi. 

But, even with her friends around her, Fatou still stared straight into a deep and infinite hole within herself, the hole which could only be filled by Ava. Fatou missed her deeply, a longing which filled up her mind at night and robbed her hours of sleep. She needed Ava, and now, she understood that Ava needed her too. Fatou wrapped Nora and Mailin tighter around her, and built a resolve in herself: she would do right by Ava and their friendship because it meant everything to her. Ava meant everything to her.

The three of them made their way around the corner and into a busier main road when Fatou’s phone buzzed.

Kieu My: hey, how did it go?

Fatou: great, i got answers, and i feel good about this

Kieu My: i’m so glad. i feel good about you.

Fatou: when are your parents gonna let you off?

Kieu My: 19:00

Fatou: any interest in pizza?

Kieu My: couldn’t think of any better celebration

Fatou: see you then

Kieu My: see u then <3

Fatou stowed her phone away.

“Was that our favorite lady?” Nora teased.

“It was,” Fatou said, covering her face with her hands as she scratched her brow. 

“I’m so happy for you guys,” Mailin said.

Fatou looked up at the gray sky, at the drabness which had settled over Berlin. She had not noticed the darkness of the sky before, and now, even when she looked straight into it, it could not overcome her. for something within her shined far too brightly.

Fatou rolled her skateboard under her feet, back and forth like a pendulum, as she waited for Kieu My on a bench outside the pizza place. Her mask kept her nose warm, even though it ran a little bit, but she was cold, her toes beginning to disconnect slightly from her feet, receding into themselves as the frigid air surrounded them. Just as she was thinking of texting Kieu My, her girlfriend sat down next to her on the bench, startling her slightly.

“Hey,” Kieu My said, casually like she had been there all along.

“You scared me.”

Kieu My’s face fell. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, her eyes darting to the cement.

“No, no,” Fatou said quickly, “it’s fine. You keep me on my toes, I like it.”

Kieu My met her gaze, her face serious and open, and then, suddenly full of mischief, her smile crinkled up on the left side of her face. “Stay alert,” she warned, winking.

They went inside the small pizza parlor as quickly as possible, not wanting to spend too much time in the enclosed space. When they came out, it was completely dark. Fatou thought about how quickly it got dark in winter and about how the cold could make time fly by. She wanted more time with Kieu My, she wanted their outing and every moment with her to last forever. 

They settled back onto the bench and opened their pizza box as they removed their masks. Being able to see Kieu My’s whole face, Fatou wanted nothing more than to kiss her. Kieu My got there first, diving to meet her lips in a surprisingly deep kiss. 

Fatou hadn’t known whether Kieu My would be comfortable kissing out in public like this. Their museum date had felt private, but maybe that had only been Fatou’s imagination, her desire for it to be only her and Kieu My in the entire universe. But out here, she was filled with exhilaration as she received the whole and unfazed affection of her girlfriend. She kissed her back and then broke away. “Our pizza is gonna get cold,” she said.

Kieu My barked out a laugh before placing one final chaste kiss on her girlfriend’s lips. She then picked up a large piece on the cheese side of the medium pizza. Fatou’s side, loaded with mushrooms and peppers, was far too busy for Kieu My who preferred, as she said it, to “taste the full extent of the cheese’s flavor.”

Fatou had teased her for disliking vegetables. Kieu My had denied that.

“So tell me more about your visit today,” Kieu My said after her first slice.

Fatou thought back to the strange room with the divider and the buzzing colorful buttons.

“He had me do some math which I’m pretty sure I got wrong, and we talked. He told me that I struggle with calculations, but that I’m not dumb.”

Kieu My nodded eagerly, listening to every inflection of tone and word.

“I said that once in the meeting, and he started buzzing all of the light-up buttons at once. It kinda scared the shit out of me, but now I’m scared of saying that, so I guess it worked.”

“Maybe I’ll get some buttons too,” Kieu My said jokingly.

“We’ll never be physics partners again if that happens.”

“Maybe it’s for the best,” Kieu My said. When the words came out of her mouth, she immediately regretted them, knowing that they would be interpreted wrongly. “I don’t mean it like that,” she said. Fatou was quiet.

“I just mean that it was wrong of me to pressure you into it after I had been treating you like shit. I’m sorry.”

Fatou watched Kieu My’s face as it was illuminated by the yellow street lights.

“I shouldn’t have said you were bad at physics, that’s not true.”

“It is though,” Fatou said. “I think I’m gonna switch to biology for my Abi.”

Kieu My thought about that. “That’s great if that’s what you want.”

“I think it is,” Fatou said, “it’s less math and I like animals, it might be interesting.”

Kieu My turned to Fatou on the bench, finding her beautiful face in the semi-darkness. “I know you will be.”

Fatou held her gaze.

“I just need to say,” Kieu My continued, “that I shouldn’t have tried to pressure you into studying with me or have done all the stuff I did as your project partner. I really wanted to help, but I know that it’s maybe not my place as your girlfriend to tutor you.”

“It’s okay,” Fatou said. “I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I just wanted to be with you and not think about that, but you were trying to help, and honestly, I should have appreciated it for what it was. You aren’t a distraction Kieu My, you’re everything, and I just want to be honest about that reality in my world. You mean too much for that message to be confused.”

Kieu My sat there a little breathless. She had never known anyone like Fatou, anyone so loving and brave. 

“You’re everything in my world too,” she said quietly. 

They sat in silence for a few moments as the city moved around them. A family of four, all holding hands, sidled down the street and stopped in front of a closed coffee shop. They watched their reflections in the glass and then kept walking.

“Did you really think you are dumb?” Kieu My asked.

“I think I did,” said Fatou. “I mix up stuff all the time, confuse dates and numbers. At the aquarium store, I couldn’t even count the cash. I just felt so inadequate, maybe I still do.”

Kieu My reached over and took her girlfriends cool hand. She wrapped her fingers in hers and rubbed her thumb over her knuckles. 

“I got fired from my job,” Fatou blurted out. “I didn’t want to tell you because I was worried you might think I couldn’t do anything. I was ashamed.” Fatou’s voice broke and Kieu My was weak inside. 

Seeing her hurt and fear unsettled her deeply.

“You’re not inadequate, Fatou.”

Upon hearing her name on her girlfriend’s lips, Fatou was filled with a deep sense of her own worth. Kieu My did not define Fatou’s worth, but she helped her understand it. There had to be a word for that, and it fell on Fatou like a spell. She was under it, willingly, and in the artificial light of the Berlin night, she could only hope that the spell had enraptured them both.


End file.
